1858 “A” Great Train Robbery, formerly “The” Great Train Robbery Almanac of Absurdities 5.22.2013

For the Reno Gang, the guys who invented the Train Robbery, this day in 1868 was the pinnacle. It was their fourth job, and the best one of them all. Twelve members of the gang quietly boarded the Jeffersonville, Madison and Indianapolis Railroad train as it stopped at the train depot in Marshfield, Indiana. Don’t look for it on the map, it no longer exists. On Departure, the gang overpowered the engineer and uncoupled the passenger cars, which turned the crime scene…the express car…into a getaway vehicle. The Reno Gang, led by Civil War Veteran Frank Reno, took over the express car, tossed express messenger Thomas Harkins off the train which killed him, and broke into the safe. They got away with a staggering fortune by the lights of the era… netting an estimated $96,000. This robbery gained national attention and was published in many major papers. It was called “The Great Train Robbery” but later the British “Great Train Robbery” which happened in 1963, brought in 2.3 million pounds and became “The Great Train Robbery” which demoted this “Great Train Robbery” to just “A” Great Train Robbery. It was the last big success for the Reno Gang too, because when they tried to pull another job that June, the Pinkertons ambushed them and captured one of the gang. He turned on the others, gave away locations, and six of them were captured and hanged by vigilantes within the month…all of them from the same tree. This place IS on the map. It’s called “Hangman Crossing, Indiana.” There’s a plaque. Frank Reno and guest stars pulled off a few more jobs, but late that year, he got arrested in Windsor Ontario, and was extradited back into the United States. Shortly after he returned to US Soil, another lynch mob broke into the jail and put him to the noose like so many of his colleagues. Same Fate, but Different Tree. He was in federal custody at the time of the lynching, and he’s the only prisoner in US history to be lynched while nominally in Federal Custody. The US Marshall’s don’t talk about that one much.

Album Notes:

The “Almanac of Absurdities” Theme sounder is derived from a very snappy piece of music:

Twelve Empty Cups”
Written & Performed by:
Derek R. Audette – (C) MMIV
(Socan)

Grateful Acknowledgements to Mike Koenig, and Drum 8.  “Neo Western” Written and Performed by Kevin McLeod, Licensed under Creative Commons “Attriibution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ and used here by permission, and with appreciation and thanks.

1962, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”- Almanac of Absurdities 5.19.2013

On this date in 1962, possibly the most legendary birthday celebration of the 20^th century and it wasn’t even really the man’s birthday. May 19, 1962 wasn’t really President John F. Kennedy’s 45^th Birthday…that day came ten days later. But they held a birthday party for him anyway at Madison Square Garden the night of May 19. It was quite a party, but the most memorable highlight came when actress Marilyn Monroe took to the podium. Even though there were 15 thousand people there, you couldn’t miss Marilyn. First, she was Marilyn Monroe, and second, she was Marilyn Monroe wearing a sheer, skin tight, flesh colored Jean Louis dress with 25 hundred rhinestones applied to it. The actress was sewn into the dress for the occasion…and was unable, and apparently uninclined to wear anything underneath. Typically she showed up hours late for the event, so Peter Lawford jokingly introduced her as the “Late Marilyn Monroe”. And she sang for the birthday boy. This is where the conspiracy theorists would check in about possible government involvement or Mafioso or Aliens, But three months later, Marilyn was found dead of a drug overdose…by that time she WAS the late Marilyn Monroe, and the song and rumors about her dalliances with the president were part and parcel of the legends surrounding her death. The Next Year, Kennedy was assassinated, and the whole situation is part of the history of the Early 60s. Then came the Beatles. Birthdays today for Ho Chi Minh, Malcolm X and Pete Townsend of the Who.

Album Notes:

The “Almanac of Absurdities” Theme sounder is derived from a very snappy piece of music:

Twelve Empty Cups”
Written & Performed by:
Derek R. Audette – (C) MMIV
(Socan)

Grateful Acknowledgements to Mike Koenig, and Drum 8.  “Off to Osaka” Written and Performed by Kevin McLeod, Licensed under Creative Commons “Attriibution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ and used here by permission, and with appreciation and thanks.

 

1896-Bad Event Planning. Hundreds Die at Tsar’s Party. Almanac of Absurdities 5.18.2013

On this date in 1896 comes one of the darkest days in the history of event planning, the Khodynka Tragedy. It was four days after the Coronation of Tsar Nicholas II, and the idea was a big public party for the people of Moscow, with food and gifts for the guests. Theatres, a temporary Town Square, 150 buffets, and tellingly 20 pubs were set up in Khodynka Field for the celebration. Rumors spread of Coronation Gifts to be distributed to the people. In fact there was going to be bread, sausage, pretzels and a commemorative cup distributed, and it was hardly a treasure trove, but nevertheless thousands of people…one estimate suggests half a million…were waiting at the gates before dawn for the party to begin. At the fateful moment, a rumor began to spread that there wasn’t enough beer for everybody, and a crowd surge turned into a crush, a panic and a stampede. 18 hundred policemen were no match for hundreds of thousands of people and in the ensuing madness, nearly 14 hundred people were trampled to death. Tsar Nicholas and his wife spent the day visiting injured survivors of the mishap. While he was doing that, his advisers were arguing whether or not the Tsar should attend a ball thrown in his honor at the French Embassy. Relations between Russia and France were delicate…and in the end, the Tsar was urged to attend, and did so…and increased the anger of his people. Incidentally that commemorative cup, as you might guess, is quite a collectable these days, usually described in the Auction Catalogues as the 1896 “Cup of Sorrows.” The events of the day were a sour beginning for the reign of the last Tsar…and it ended on a similarly sour note in 1918 when the Tsar, his family, and servants were executed by another questionable planned event, a surprise firing squad, this time planned by the Bolsheviks. You know what they say…In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the party finds you.

Album Notes:

The “Almanac of Absurdities” Theme sounder is derived from a very snappy piece of music:

Twelve Empty Cups”
Written & Performed by:
Derek R. Audette – (C) MMIV
(Socan)

Grateful Acknowledgements to Mike Koenig, and Drum 8.  “Padanaya Blokov” Written and Performed by Kevin McLeod, Licensed under Creative Commons “Attriibution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ and used here by permission, and with appreciation and thanks.

1943: Operation Chastise-”The Dambusters” to the “Death Star” Almanac of Absurdities REMIX 5.17.2013

On this date in 1943, a splendid hour for those daring chaps of the RAF 617^th Bomber Wing. Operation Chastise. The Pilots of the 617th took out the Mohne and Eidersee dams in Germany and caused catastrophic flooding to the industrial Ruhr Valley…a staggering blow to the weakening Nazi Forces. The RAF had developed a special bomb, codenamed “Upkeep” that would skip along the surface of the water, and sink to precisely the right depth right at the wall to deliver a death blow to a large concrete dam just for this occasion. Wing Commander Guy Gibson led the Number Five Group…previously called “Squadron X” on the daring exploit. Many of the bombers were shot down as the bombing run required a precision trajectory to place the “Upkeep” bomb in precisely the right location. If this sounds a little familiar, it should. Operation Chastise as they came to call it was made into a British Film called “The Dambusters” in 1955. By the time the 70′s rolled around it was just an old forgotten black and white movie for most…but young filmmaker George Lucas had used footage from “The Dambusters” as an already-filmed storyboard when directing the Death Star Attack sequence in the original “Star Wars.”  Incidentally “The Dambusters” may get another Go Round.  Peter Jackson has mentioned publicly on a number of occasions that he’s circling a remake of this obscure British War Thriller, which incidentally is not a half bad old movie, if you should run across it.

Album Notes

The “Almanac of Absurdities” Theme sounder is derived from a very snappy piece of music:

Twelve Empty Cups”
Written & Performed by:
Derek R. Audette – (C) MMIV
(Socan)

Grateful Acknowledgements to Mike Koenig, and Drum 8.  “Impending Boom” Written and Performed by Kevin McLeod, Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ and used here by permission, and with appreciation and thanks. Other Audio and Indicia are used for educational purposes under the Fair Use Doctrine.

1960-Ted Maiman’s Ray Gun – Almanac of Absurdities for 5.16.2013

Theodore Harold Maiman was a kid from LA, born in 1927, earned his way through college by repairing radios and electronic appliances. Smart Kid. Went to the University of Colorado to score his degree in Engineering Physics in 1949, …really smart kid… and by 1955 he was clearing Stanford’s Graduate Physics program with a Ph.D, under the very estimable Willis Lamb. His thesis concerned structural changes in Highly Excited Helium Atoms. Very Smart Kid. On this day in 1960, now doing cutting edge research at the Hughes Research Laboratories in Malibu, very smart grownup Ted Maiman, and his research Partner, Physicist Gordon Gould finally managed to produce a strange intense beam of red light by pumping energy into a synthetically grown ruby crystal, and the Laser was invented. Maiman worked with Hughes for a while, then with another company called Quantatron, and then when Quantatron got bought up by Union Carbide…it’s all business news after that. The big story is, it’s the Birthday of the Laser. Goldfinger Shot one at James Bond, they do eye surgery with them, they revolutionized the communications industry, they help you put up pictures on the wall straight, they amuse cats, they play DVD’s, they know what you buy at the grocery store. Ted Maiman invented it with Gordon Gould on this day in 1960, you’d think everyone would know their names. Got a ton of honors and ceremonial degrees and memberships for it. Got nominated twice for the Nobel Prize, but never won. Birthdays for Henry Fonda, Liberace and David E Hughes, an English inventor and musician credited as co inventor of the Microphone. Nobody knows his name either.

Album Notes

Twelve Empty Cups”
Written & Performed by:
Derek R. Audette – (C) MMIV
(Socan)

Grateful Acknowledgements to Mike Koenig, and Drum 8.  “The Professor and the Plant” Written and Performed by Kevin McLeod.  Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ and used here by permission, and with appreciation and thanks.

1718-The Short Career of the Puckle Gun- Almanac of Absurdities 5.15.2013

This day in 1718, a London Lawyer, writer and inventor by the name of James Puckle received a patent on what he called the “Defense Gun”. It was, by all accounts, the first machine gun, a crank-turned flintlock contraption capable of firing nine whole rounds per minute. Remember this is 1718, this is rapid fire. Apparently everyone but Inventor James Puckle called it the Puckle Gun. Puckle designed it to go on the decks of trade ships to be used  “defensively”, get it? To force away boarders, pirates, whatever, by sheer overwhelming firepower, nine rounds per minute hit the deck…anyway that was the pitch. Puckle presented the Defense Gun to possible investors. There were various models: One fired Conventional Bullets, for warfare in Christian Nations, another fired square bullets, just in case you happened to be firing on Muslim Turks. However, the Puckle Gun didn’t catch on with investors. Hard to build, hard to maintain. He sold a few. One master General of Ordinance purchased several for an assault on St. Lucia and St. Vincent. Brits Lost. That was pretty much the full military history of the Puckle Gun. There’s a few left. Here’s a picture. It’s the birthday of the Puckle Gun. The gun that, in the words of a newspaper at the time…only wounded its investors.

Twelve Empty Cups”
Written & Performed by:
Derek R. Audette – (C) MMIV
(Socan)

Grateful Acknowledgements to Mike Koenig, and Drum 8.  “Narcissus” Written and Performed by Kevin McLeod.  Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ and used here by permission, and with appreciation and thanks.

1643 Louis XIV, King of France, Age 4. Almanac of Absurdities 5.14.2013

On this day in 1643, Louis the 13^th of France died. This was the King in the Three Musketeers, so if these names sound familiar, that’s why. Old Louis knew it was coming and relying on some of the tutoring in strategy he received from the Legendary Cardinal Richelieu, he knew he was leaving behind political trouble. His bloodline would survive, thanks to his four year old son Louis. They called the boy Louis the God Given, as the Elder Louis and Anne of Austria had an early marriage marked with a string of royal miscarriages and a later marriage marked by a long period of estrangement. This standoff was fatefully interrupted one night by a storm in Paris, legend has it, that caused the king to cancel his plans to go carousing in the suburbs and spend an exceptionally rare night at home with queen anne, who, at age 37, was long thought to be out of the game. But some months afterward, Anne produced an Heir to the House of Bourbon. And then inexplicably, another, a year and change later, another son to the king, Phillipe, the Duke of Anjou, who was the more or less basis for the Man in the Iron Mask legend, but not really. But back to the dying king. Despite the uncharacteristic fling or two, Louis the 13^th and Queen Anne maintained a cold relationship, and it was she who was on the elder Louis mind as he faced his impending death. As his dying will, Louis the 13^th did away with the traditions that would normally have set Anne of Austria as the Regent to the 4 year old Dauphin, and created a Regency Council to blunt Anne’s Influence. Unfortunately for him, he was forced to sit Queen Anne as the head of the council. After The elder Louis’ death, the carefully constructed Regency Council was swiftly replaced by Simply Queen Anne and Cardinal Mazarin who may well have been the Queen’s Lover, there are far more than enough accounts to suggest it was generally believed. This was worlds away, though, from the reality that touched young Louis the Dauphin on this, most likely, beautiful spring day in France. Someone came up to this four year old boy on this day in 1643 and said, I’m sorry Louis, your Papa has gone to heaven, but now you are King.

Twelve Empty Cups”
Written & Performed by:
Derek R. Audette – (C) MMIV
(Socan)

Grateful Acknowledgments to Mike Koenig, and Drum 8.  Some Motifs Written and Performed by Kevin McLeod,  Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 3.0″ http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ and used here by permission, and with appreciation and thanks.  Some audio may be used under the Fair Use Doctrine.